shelby sue lesueur

reality check

2012-01-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

i was thinking about deleting my last post but decided not to. this is a blog, and i can share my feelings, no matter how dramatic. i dont find it to be dramatic but, you all probably do. however, the reason i was going to delete it was because well, in the last 5 hours that ive been thinking, and ive realized something. life is too short to be miserable. i know what he did hurt, but, its not going to forever. i can not let one person ruin my day, week, and even month. today in seminary we had the most amazing lesson ever. let me elaborate into more detail for you.
well, we didnt even exactly have a lesson. we had planned to, but we didnt. it started out with devotionals. it was open devotional, which means anyone could give it. usually we have, if lucky, one person go up (and its usually the same people). but, today was very different. we had about 4 or 5 people go up. it was truly incredible. everyones testimony/devotional was amazing. i thought that it was the best day in seminary yet, however, it got even better. after devotional, my teacher was thrilled. he was glad that everyone was so brave to share, and you could tell the room was surrounded by the spirit. it almost felt as if we were all in a bubble together. and nothing was going to get us out of that bubble, no matter how hard it tried. normally we're a pretty roudy class, but today was just different. anyways, after devotional, brother ray wanted to talk about our scripture mastery scripture before we moved on to the lesson. this was the scripture:

Isaiah 53: 3-5

3. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

as he read the scripture, i honestly couldn't help but just cry. i'm not sure if it was guilt, the spirit, or what. but something was different. that scripture meant something to me. he read it again. i cried even more. the class was silent and brother ray just kept talking about the scripture. he started to break down, and so did everyone else. needless to say, i have never felt such a strong spirit in the class. he decided to just forget the lesson and let the class have a testimony meeting the rest of the hour. a lot of people shared there testimony, but i was too scared. so, i guess i kind of want to share it with you. i have a feeling i might share it next fast sunday but, who knows.

well, i guess i regret not sharing this in seminary. i know i should have because not many people will see this. but, i am so thankful for this gospel. this scripture was a reality check for me. it made me realize so much. ive realized how much our Father loves us. He loves us so much more than we love Him, and it makes me so sad. people sin against Him all the time, and think nothing of it. i know that i have been through hard times, and i still am. i couldnt imagine having to be Him and feeling everyones pain and suffering all at one time. He bled from every poor and fell to His knees because it was so much to take. so, how can i be so ungrateful? how can i sin without feeling guilt? i never realized that sinning not only affects me, but it affects Him as well. today was a rough day for me. i was really getting down on myself for a lot of things. even after that lesson, i just went home and cried because i felt like things just werent getting any better. things felt so pointless, and i just felt like i was at an all time low. so, for two hours, i cried. and i thought, "why me? why now? this is not fair." and then i remembered the lesson. i remember that He has felt this pain before. some people say they know how you feel but, He truly does. He knows what you are going through. He is there to help. all you have to is ask. He wants you to ask. He gave his only son so that you can ask for help. so, i did what i thought was my only option. i prayed. and i prayed for over 45 minutes. i havent said a personal prayer in over a year. and i dont know why, because the second i finished that prayer and asked him for help, and asked him for answers and comfort, He gave it to me. i felt so much peace. i stopped crying. i knew that things were still going to be hard, but it felt like He was suddenly holding my hand. or, He always was, i just never knew it. i have the strongest testimony of our brother, Jesus Christ, and our Father, the Savior. i know, without at doubt that He will always be there to hold you when you need it. i say this from personal experience. there is no one who knows what you are going through like He does. if you think you're lost, and you're angry and mad, dont do what i did. dont turn away from Him. turn TO Him because He wants to help. He loves you more than you can understand. no matter what we have ever done in the past to cause Him to grief, i know that if you start now, and you just do whats right, and ask for help along the way, there is no doubt in my mind that He will be there to guide you every step of the way.

i say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

shelby lesueur

let it rain

2012-01-24T13:55:00.000-08:00

i absolutely never thought id let myself get upset over a boy. i never thought id be one for relationships, or love, or any of that gross adult stuff. but, here i am, eating my words. my favorite quote of all time is, "there are over 7 billion people on earth. and youre going to let one person ruin your day? dont." it was so easy to tell people that when i wasnt in there shoes. and now that i am, i get it. its so hard. this wont be for forever, but for now, it is what it is. and what it is, is crappy. im sad. and its amazing how a boy really can change things. things were good. then he came along, and it was like a whole new world. i was so happy all the time, and i felt so beautiful all the time. and just like that, it was all gone. i was so alone and knowing that he liked someone else, someone who was drop dead gorgeous really hurt. it made me feel so gross inside. like i was so worthless. i feel like i have just.. nothing. drama queen much? i really dont care. i thought things were getting better again, until today. i was reminded of my flaws, how beautiful im not, how beautiful she is, and how im not special. boys suck.

shelby lesueur

its crazy that someone can change me

2012-01-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

weekends rule. honestly. i have stuff to actually look forward to. besides the homework. i always have a ton of that. thats the one thing that i hate about high school. well, one of two. 1- homework on the weekends, 2- grades matter, so you have to do your homework. anyways, so this weekend, like every weekend before, was great. i spent it with jenna and kolton, so how could it not be? on friday me and jenna hung out at her house and made cookies and then took them to heidi where she then showed us pictures to her trip to thailand and.... somewhere else, i forgot where. and OH MY GOSH am i jealous. there going for 21 whole days. three stinking weeks, those lucky ducks! and no kids. paradise for her and daryl! then we went and got kolton from work and watched a movie that really sucked but, whatever. i fell asleep and it was embarrassing. on saturday, we went to filibertos. (i love that place so much....) kolton bought us these things that were like french fries and steak with sour cream and guacamole. sounds gross, but it was surprisingly amazing. i recommend it! then we went to some park and fed ducks bread. haha it was seriously so much fun. mainly because kolton was dumb and kept throwing whole pieced of bread in the water, so the ducks were scared of him. and jenna was getting mad because they wouldnt come near her. however, they loved me. :) then when we were leaving jennas car wouldnt start and that was super funny. eventually we got it to work. then we went to target to go look at all the valentines stuff. me and jenna have already done it a few times, and we know where everything is so... we showed kolton around. he was impressed! but, then he had to go to work. so me and jenna went to her house, played a little just dance, watched the glee movie, ate some chick fil a, then went to go pick kolton up. he said he got off at 8, so we went at 745 just to be safe. turns out he didnt get off until 9 so, we sat inside and waited for an hour and a half. then we went to his house and played headbands and things got a little... interesting. jenna is bound and determined to marry konnor, and have me marry kolton. not gonna lie, we'd have a pretty sweet family, but, no. haha. all in all.... good weekend. now im sitting here blogging, not doing my homework. kill me!!

i bid you adieu,
shelby lesueur

p.s. still need a math and spanish tutor

2012-01-13T21:28:00.001-08:00

2012-01-13T21:14:00.001-08:00

STUCK.

free crappy portrait, ftw!

2012-01-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

so, if any of you remember, emily lamb did this post a while back about how she submitted a photo of herself, along with information about her, to freecrappyportraits.com. and, when she did that, i was really jealous so, i did it too. im pretty sure that post was from summer break, and i submitted mine the same day. slackers. however, i FINALLY got my picture back today via email. WHOO i am extatic. its not the best but seriously i dont care. i love it. its a picture of me and jake. i dont remember exactly what i said in the description but, i remember talking about how he was my best friend, and we loved justin beiber.

i think its super cute, and i might even get it framed. who knows.

-shelby lesueur

2012-01-10T15:02:00.000-08:00

im getting my hair done this weekend, and this is how im doing it. i know this style is typically for long hair, but who cares? i can do it too. im not sure how light and dark im going to go. we will see.

take to the sky

2012-01-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

sometimes all i want is to be inspirational. that is all. that is why i write. i want to be someone that people quote. i want to have wisdom. i want people to look at me, listen to me, read the things i write, and think "shes right". why is it so hard for me to be that way? is it because im only 15, and ive barely even lived? or is it that im just... not? i think part of it is i am scared. i want to say things but i am scared. i want to share my opinions, and thoughts, and my own wisdom, but i cant. im afraid of what people will think. on my own blog, i am afraid. someday, when i am a writer, i will be able to express myself how i want and for everyone to hear.

shelby lesueur

2012-01-06T22:23:00.001-08:00

im doing just fine

2012-01-02T21:19:00.000-08:00

i just figured id give everyone who cares an update. i left my other posts on kind of a weird note and i figured id clear everything up because ive actually had quite a few people ask me if everything is alright.
i am okay. honestly. i am so happy that it seems unfair. it was just a weird/rough week. but you know what? its over. im over it, and i am definitely not going to worry about it any longer. whats done is done and its in the past. everything is a-ok.
anyways..... new years eve was a blast. i got to hang out with jenna, tennille, kylee, and a few other kids. slowly but surely jenna is becoming the older sister i never had. i love it. we seriously do everything together, and talk about everything. i love her to death. im pretty darn lucky to have such an amazing friend!
well.... i start school here pretty soon. i was supposed to start today but my school is being super slow when it comes to making my schedule. so for now, i wait. i should be starting here within the next day or so. i am so glad that i do not have to go back to that dumb high school though. im going back next year (as of right now...) but its so nice to know that i dont have to be there for a few months. its not the school so much, but the kids. and i know ive told you before how much they are so, ill just cut that out and you wont have to feel like im a broken record.

well, thats about it for now. stay chill.

shelby lesueur

start all over

2011-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

this year has to be a good year. it just has to. im half way through my sophomore year of high school, and ill be starting my junior year. ill be taking college classes. im turning 16. things can be good, i just have to make sure they happen. so, like every person in this world, i have set some goals. some are life long, some are just silly, and some are to see if i can actually do it.

my new years goals.

-no sugar. (candy, soda, desserts..)
-work out 4 times a week (or more if possible)
-weigh *** by my birthday (dont feel like sharing my weight. haha)
-no kissing boys until im 16 (ill explain in a sec.)
-read the book of mormon by my birthday
(ok, side note. so me and my dad made a bet that, if i dont kiss a boy until im sixteen, because we all no that im still VL, and if i read the book of mormon by my birthday, he will get me a car. sounds like a dang good bet to me!)
-have school decided by junior year. (this isnt college. i already know where im going. this is high school. if kelseys gone next year, then whats the point of even being at queen creek? i have a lot of options, especially with EVIT. i can go anywhere i want because i will be driving.)
-no more facebook (i know ive done this one heaven knows how many times, but i want to see if i can do it. i deleted my facebook this morning, and im going to see if i have the will power to stay off of it for a whole year. and who knows? if i can do it a whole year, why go back on? its addicting, and if its addicting, it probably isnt good for you. so, bye bye lamebook.)

i have more goals. spiritual goals, personal goals, physical goals, social goals, and all that stuff. but those are a wee bit personal so, im not going to share. anyways, i hope you all have a fantastic new years eve. party hard. and i wish us all a good new year :)

until next time
shelby lesueur

beat of my heart

2011-12-30T14:10:00.000-08:00

its been a long time since ive done this, but why not? i think i could use it.

dear flip,
i know thats my nickname but, i thought it fit the situation. well, im not quite sure what i want to say.. i wish i had the guts to say these things to your face but, you and i both know that i am all talk and no action. i guess i just want to say that im sorry. i know you felt like i played you, but i didnt. you are my friend. you are one of my best friends. and when kelsey moves away, you will be my only friend left. that is, if you decide to forgive me. i dont quite understand exactly what i did wrong, but i dont care. i still want to apologize, if it gives me any chance at being your friend again. as weird as it is so say, i need you. sometimes me and my friends crack jokes about you, but, if we didnt love you, then we wouldnt hang out with you. and i do love you. as a friend, of course. more so a brother. anyways, i just really hope you know that i am honestly and sincerely sorry for whatever it is that i did. and i hope we can still be friends.

dear whoreman,
i dont hate you. and the nickname has no symbolance. (is that even a word?) but its just an inside joke. anyways, again, im not sure where to start. i SERIOUSLY wish i had to guts to say this to your face but that is a long shot from never going to happen. i dont want to be some dumb high school girl who cant get over her first real crush. even though we lasted a good whole 10 days. but im sad. and it makes me sad to think that i never even got the chance to really know you. we went from strangers to crushes in little to no time. so, now that its gone, i guess were back to square one. with an added touch of awkward, of course. anyways, im not mad at all and i hope you know that. i feel used, for sure. i feel lied to, and embarrased and really awkward. my group will never be the same. you will be gone, along with flip. and it will just be weird. ill miss you but, not too much. sometimes its just best to move on. im glad we met though, because you sir, are amazing. you already know this but, youre the reason i went back to church. because i wanted to be worthy of someone like you when i get older. so, thank you for that. you taught me a good lesson. thank you for your example and for just being my friend. I O U. :)

dear best friend who i dont even know what nickname to pick because they would all be to obvious,
2012, here we come... right? new boys, new year, new start. weve got this :)

until next time
shelby sue lesueur

better days

2011-12-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

sometimes things just suck. things have been really good lately, and they still are. but that doesnt mean that something isnt going wrong. im really grateful for what i have, no doubt. and i think that im a very lucky person. but i feel like i cant catch a break sometimes. it feels like the second things start going good, something or someone decided to ruin it. only a few people know what im talking about, and i dont want to make it super public so, i'll spare the details. but, its safe to say that, i am sad at the moment. ive lost a few good friends, i feel like ive been used, and thats only the beginning. sure, i had a good few weeks. i met some new people, and im so grateful for it. i dont want to be a drama queen and say that i wish i had never met them, because im glad i did. they actually changed my life a lot. i think im a better person because they set such a good example for me. but, it hurts. i felt loved for the first time in a long time and, its gone. just like that. no explanation, no apologies. its just.... gone. im sure none of you think that i am making any sense. but rest assured, i am. you just dont know it.
anyways. i can tell that things are going to be different. it sucks. but i just have to get used to it.

words pt. 2

2011-12-29T18:40:00.001-08:00

2011-12-29T18:35:00.000-08:00

that awkward moment when things are going so good, then someone decides to screw it up.

love

2011-12-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

i love him more than anything in this world. <3

its all fun and games

2011-12-28T13:23:00.000-08:00

i like hats, and scarfs and winter. costa vida, starbucks lemonade, and target. i also like staying up late. oh, and i love kelsey roseborough.

2011-12-28T01:35:00.001-08:00

i love kelsey roseborough because she does things like picks me up at 12:30 am to just go do absolutely nothing when im having a crappy day. this is what best friends are made of.

take me down like im a domino

2011-12-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

afterglow look out below

2011-12-24T21:02:00.000-08:00

merry christmas....eve! is it seriously already christmas eve? it does not feel like it. where does the time go? seriously, as i get older, time goes by faster. its really weird how this year doesnt even feel like christmas. i dont know why, it just doesnt. well, right now it does.
anyways, i just figured i'd blog about a few things. christmas, life, friends, boys, school. the usual.
well, christmas. seriously the best holiday of all time. i'd be lying if i said it takes me hours to fall asleep. ive been in bed for almost two hours now just hoping to fall asleep at any time. its not going to happen any time soon. my smart self decided to sleep in until 11 today so... this could be a while. well, i figured with the christmas theme, i'd talk about, none other than, christ. things have been hard lately, and i kind of just started giving up. i stopped going to church, and mutual, and even seminary. i didnt really have motivation to go. its been a good 4 months since ive gone. but, i would like to happily announce that, with the help of my friends, i have gone to church three weeks in a row, along with mutual. i dont know what i was thinking. if things are hard, why would turning away from christ make anything better? he is everything. he makes every single thing better. i am so grateful for this christmas season so we have time to think about him. i think some people, including myself, get so wrapped up in the presents and the gifts. then when i find myself thinking just about that, i feel to guilty. from now on, im making sure i make the christmas season about christ.
well, life is good. its superb. great. excellent. ive basically told everyone this but, ill tell everyone again. i have lost seven pounds. :) whether you can see it or not doesnt matter. i can tell. i can feel a difference. im motivated now, and there is absolutely no stopping me.
friends are great. i have the most amazing best friends in the world. they are the reason things are so good. chase, kelsey, kolton, hannah, meagan, riley, laura. i love you guys so much. seriously. you have no idea.
family is good, as always. my brothers are just as cute as ever, and i love them so much. my parents are amazing. things are just good. i love where im at. my home is awesome, and i couldnt ask to be in a better situation.
boys are also very good. haha all my friends know about my whole boy situation, so theres no need to repeat it.
school is... over. kind of. i withdrew from queen creek last week and, im pretty darn nervous. its just online school but, still. its new, and thats always scary. but, i think itll be good. im halfway through my sophomore year! im practically a junior :)

well, i hope everyone has an amazing christmas tomorrow. i want to know what everyone got! im sure youll be hearing all about mine. sleep well, kiddos! love you!

shelby lesueur

my obsession

2011-12-22T20:03:00.001-08:00

its official. i am the biggest old lady ever. i love crocheting. a lot. i spent thirty of my own dollars buying yarn, a new weave, and all that stuff. imagine what i will be like at sixty. my life is going no where.

all i want for christmas is...

2011-12-21T17:05:00.000-08:00

dear santa,

this christmas is one that i would like to be memorable. im not asking for much, just simple things. last year you kind of went all out, and i dont expect that this year. im happy as it is, and i just want to spend time with my family..... however, a few things would be nice.
for starters, i want a bike. some lamewad in my neighborhood stole mine. my beautiful 100% all american california beach cruiser that i got in, well, california. i would like a beach cruiser, one that resembles my old one. it will never be replaced, but i can try my best to fill the whole in my heart with a new one. now, i understand that it is just a bike, but, this bike was my baby. i took care of it like it was my child. it had stickers that i collect all over it. the tires were always filled with air. the white bike seat was clean all the time, and my breaks were in prime condition. unfortanely all memories with that bike have come to an end, so please, just do your best to give me a bike that i will love.
i also want tickets. tickets to what, might you ask? well, the goo goo dolls of course. they're coming in february, and.. i need them. i NEED them. they are my absolute favorite. i love them more than i love justin bieber. (say what?). anyways, i just really want them. and preferably two, so i can take my loving older brother. please.
next i want clothes. who doesnt want clothes? lots and lots of clothes. i love them so much. pleeeeeease........
last, i want a new pair of glasses. i have good ones, i just would like more. i like to switch them around. theyre like an accesory to me. and i love them.
anyways, i know christmas is about christ. and this year i am bound and determined to focus on that. im sure you arent religious, but, it would be a big help if you could keep christ in christmas!

thanks for all your hard work, old man.

shelby lesueur

tonight is the night we set it off

2011-12-19T21:51:00.000-08:00

the temple is a good place to be. especially with the people you love. and i sure do love these people a lot. life is so freaking good.

shelby lesueur

words

2011-12-19T13:59:00.001-08:00

2011-12-18T21:52:00.001-08:00

give me strength

2011-12-18T21:31:00.000-08:00

high school has its advantages. big time. however, high school also has its disadvantages. big time. like, right now. when grades actually matter. junior high, you can get away with failing. its easy. simple. it may not seem like it at the time, but it is. high school? thats the real stuff. this is the real deal. oh my gosh is it stressful. ive been studying all week for all my exams, and i still feel as unsure as ever. i am so nervous for my spanish grade, because my final exam will make or break it. my english is going to be horrendous, but no matter how bad i do i wont be able to fail the class, hallelujah. geometry shouldnt be too bad. biology is going to be hell. i dont even want to start. but, after these two days of torture, i will be starting online school. i have mixed emotions about it. im happy because i get to get some decent sleep. i can do it on my own time. its not going to be easy, and i know that, but i think it'll teach me a lot. im going to be kind of bored though, and bummed because my classes arent that bad this year. but, luckily ill be coming back next year and ill be doing evit. so, ill only be gone for a little while. im mainly doing this so i can give myself a break. i just need a break from everything. things are really good right now, but i just need a break. i can get my self together, and just have time to myself.
anyways, besides school, life is good. family is good, friends are brilliant, and its the christmas season. how can things not be good? however, all good things must come to an end, and sure enough, they will soon. kelsey is moving, and it really feels like the end of the world. it feels like my parents getting divorced all over again. or like being the new kid at school. im so scared. she is really all i have right now. shes my best friend, and my sister, and my rock, and the only thing that has kept me from going partially insane. what am i going to do when shes gone? i honestly pray to god every night that she doesnt go. that some miracle will happen and she can stay.

anyways, good luck on finals, my friends.

shelby lesueur

when we stand together

2011-12-14T21:24:00.000-08:00

this week i went to church and mutual. this weekend, im going to the temple with my friends. honestly, i know why im so happy. for some reason it was so hard for me to figure out. i am so much happy when im choosing the right, and doing good things like going to church, keeping the commandments, serving the lord, etc. no matter how many friends i dont have in my ward, im going to church and mutual. i will make friends. this weekend is going to be the best, and i can not wait. :)

until next time,
shelby lesueur

2011-12-13T21:05:00.001-08:00

I WISH I WASNT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO BLOGGED ANYMORE. :(

2011-12-13T15:05:00.000-08:00

i think i already posted these pictures but i just wanted to show you all that, the hair is growing. slowly but surely. but it is definitely getting there!

shelby lesueur

2011-12-11T15:13:00.000-08:00

happy sunday, lovelies. :)

2011-12-11T14:07:00.001-08:00

i love her.

pink inspires

2011-12-10T12:57:00.001-08:00

shelby lesueur

tis the season

2011-12-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

c'est la saison,
shelby lesueur

remember me, sweet bravery

2011-12-09T23:54:00.000-08:00

happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy is what i am. this week was absolutely fabulous. kelsey's had her car so, we've just been maniacs on the road. (not literally. we've been very responsible.) ive basically been with kels, kolton, hayden, meagan and jenna the best 6 days. its been basketball games, car rides, quicktrip, games, movies. i just love my friends a lot. they're really amazing. i love school and my family. things arent perfect, but they're getting there. its really happening. things are really getting better :)

i love my life right now :)

revoir pour le moment, mes amours..

shelby lesueur

don't you worry your pretty little mind

2011-12-04T20:47:00.001-08:00

people throw rocks at things that shine. :)

have a good day at school tomorrow :)

さようなら,

shelby

my best friend

2011-12-04T18:44:00.001-08:00

and my excuse is that im young

2011-12-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

today:
-i woke up
-i got ready for school
-dressed in my swagger jacket and jeans because i didnt even care what i looked like
-went to school, and had an amazing day because i let myself have an amazing day. because i love my friends. because jaidison understands me. because blake and i have a love/hate relationship. but mostly hate. but hes cute, and i look forward to seminary because of him, along with jackson and the rest of my class put me in an amazing mood, and an amazing way to end my day.
-i came home and did three hours of homework. i havent done that in so long, and man am i proud of myself.
-i went for a jog in the freezing cold. i was gone for about an hour, and i only walked and jogged. not much running. but its a start. and i feel crazy good.
now im going to go clean my room, do my laundry, then get in my bed and watch some romantic movie.
then tomorrow, im going to have the best saturday ever, because im done with the whole bad attitude thing. here we GOOOOO. :)

i love days like today

chao.
shelby lesueur

quicky q

2011-12-02T13:51:00.000-08:00

whenever i get on my blog, i get excited. i seriously dont know why. im a straight up nerd!
ok- well, anyways, i have an honest question. how do people follow you? and i mean, i know how but, how do people find your blog? some of my followers ive ever even met. so, how do people find it? yeah. anwyays. just drop me a reply. thatd be nice.

oh- and another thing.

i like when people comment on my posts. a lot. a lot a lot a lot. so- please do. thanks.

these are a few of my favorite things

2011-12-02T13:29:00.001-08:00

2011-12-02T13:18:00.001-08:00

facebook free for 36 hours and counting.

i think ill be brave, starting with you

2011-12-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

so this week has been... a rollercoaster, none the less. thats really the only way i can describe it. lots of new feelings, weird emotions, sadness, happiness, regret, hate, love, yadda yadda yaaaaa. all my friends have winter formal this weekend and, i will not be going. ive been waiting for these days since the seventh grade. i knew theyd come. i knew that there would be that one whole year where all my friends would be dating, driving, working, all that fun teenage stuff, and i would be...blogging. so, like i said, winter formal is this weekend and this is just the beginning to a very long, miserable year. however, i have decided to make a pact to myself. i have a little less than one year left until all this glorious fun is mine. so, for this next year, i am going to working my ace off trying to get myself together. physically, emotionally, socially. im going to be the person i want to be. its going to take time, so im giving myself this year. when im 16, i want to be a fun, attractive, dateable person. and im not there yet. but that is absolutely 100% okay. this year is going to be hard core, but i am praying to god that i can do it.
anyways, on another note... i have plans this weekend. forget winter formal. actually, the plans arent set in stone because, like i said, im a just not social. and add a boy into the mix and its trouble. so, a boy asked me to hang out this weekend and.... im nervous. flattered, but nervous. i dont think im going to go. he wants me to bring friends but theyll all be on their dates. ill tell him another time.
also, i have some exciting news! well, kinda. so, theres a boy. hahahahahahahahahahahaa yes. its been a really long time since ive genuinely had a legitimate crush on a boy. ive always thought he was cute but, im too self conscious to like boys, because i know i am undateable. but thats ok, because ive still got a whole year for progress. hes 16 already but, its cool. he can have his fun for a year, but when i turn 16, its on like donkey kong. oh, and im not telling you who he is. only one person knows and it is going to absolutely stay that way.

bonjour!
shelby lesueur

p.s. over 18,000 views. ka-chiga! :) thanks guys. i like knowing theres people listening. it means more to me than you will ever know.

i wont apologize for who i am

2011-11-30T19:18:00.001-08:00

2011-11-28T20:18:00.001-08:00

hahah happy monday!

2011-11-27T10:32:00.000-08:00

well, yesterday was my grandmas birthday, and i didnt even tell her happy birthday. i am horrible. but, i hope she knows how much i love her!! and i hope she had an amazing birthday.
my grandma sandy is honestly the best person you could ever meet in your life. she is so caring, and loving, and selfless, and she just loves everyone. she puts everyone before herself. she is the perfect example of someone who is christ like. i only hope someday i can be just as amazing as she is. i am so lucky to have one of the most amazing grandmas ever. i honestly dont know where id be without her, because she has helped me through everything. i love her way too much! i love our craft days, and days when we just hang out. and, not to mention, she is a stellar cook.
anyways, i hope you had an amazing day grandma. i love you SO much!

soooo old.........

until next time,
shelby lesueur

things that matter

2011-11-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

i seriously love weekends like this. i mean, maybe it has something to do with not being at school for two extra days, but, it just puts me in a good mood. thanksgiving was really good. i love spending time with my family. black friday was insanity, but crazy fun. me, kelsey, haley, summer and maddie all went together. walmart was insanity. honestly i dont know how we managed to make it in and out in only an hour. but, none the less, it was fun. then afterwards we drove around for over and hour looking for a place to eat. everything was closed. everything. and i was getting carsick, and the only thing that sounded remotely pleasant was soup. luckily dennys was open, and they serve soup! but to my dismay, they dont serve it after 10pm. which is really dumb and im not even going to start because i will just get really mad. on friday, after i got some sleep, we had this family reunion thing. it was pretty fun! i always love seeing the family. then i went to see breaking dawn with shannon and kara. and OH MY GOSH it was so good. it has its cheesy parts, haha i will definitely give you that. but over all, i really liked it. yesterday was probably the funnest day ever. me, tennille, kelsey, and tanner just kind of hung out. we had interesting conversations but, whatevs. we went to olive garden, played monopoly, made s'mores, the whole shabang. what great kids:).

anyways... i hope everyone had a good weekend and you used your time wisely. back to school tomorrow. yipee. but on the bright side im starting online very soon so, hallelujah.

we went bowling, and i owned everyone.

ava is just about the cutest girl ever

and so is jenny.

tanner? not so much.

until next time,
shelby

world wide.

2011-11-20T18:11:00.000-08:00

good weekends. they make going back to school decent because i know i didnt waste my time off.
this weekend was probably the best weekend....ever. on friday i hung out with my aunts kara and shannon. shannon had family down from utah, so we were all hanging out. and, lucky me, there was a really cute boy there. like, justin bieber times five hundred. and he kind of looked like him. but cuter. anyways, of course i was really awkward because, i always am. but, never the less, it was still a fun night. saturday i went to my dads softball tournament all day. and lucky me again, cute boys were every where. my dad plays with this family who has a boy who's 16 who, is also, very cute. it was like, 48 straight hours of good looking boys.
but anyways, today my phone broke. kind of. its being a piece of crap, like usual. so, dont bother texting me until tomorrow sometime. because i will ignore you.

until next time,

shelby lesueur

jack & diane

2011-11-17T19:09:00.000-08:00

today i was thinking about how awfully embarrassing i am. like, i am straight up embarrassing. and im sure everyone who has ever spent and hour with me, knows it. so, because i have list-idous (an obsession of making lists. i know it makes no sense), ill make you one of reasons why im crazy embarrassing.

i say really dumb things that think will be funny, and then they never are.
any time anybody tells a joke, my face gets crayola red, and my eyes start watering like my dog just died. thats seriously no joke.
when i get hyper, i dance. when i go to stake dances, i dance. trust me, its embarrassing.
my glasses are huge
i enjoy justin bieber a little too much
my room is clean 5% of the time
i get embarrased by everything. when my friends are being loud, when my mom drops me off at school with a towel on her head, when kelseys mom makes me go home with a stranger, when im talking to a boy, when my hair looks bad. EVERYTHING.
that reminds me, when i talk to boys, i stutter, get bright red, and i always say the absolute dumbest things.
i think im funny
i listen to old people music
i have this unnatural obsession with pens. i really love pens
my feet are... huge...
i spend so much time watching movies, and blogging, and playing on the computer it should be horrible
i hate people. seriously, ask kelsey. its really embarrassing, but any where theres a ton of people, especially people i dont know, i will not go. why do you think kelseys has millions of parties that ive never been to? why im taking online school next semester? and why i sit with 3 people at lunch? and why i dont talk in class? people scare me.

well, you look mighty fine today. until next time,

shelby lesueur

this is beautiful :)

2011-11-17T18:57:00.000-08:00

so, i thought tonight was gonna be a bad night. like, a really bad night. turns out, it wont be. i have a clean room, hot cookies waiting for me upstairs, no homework, and i got to talk to a cute, long lost, guy friend. all the cool people are at the breaking dawn premiere, but whatever. i have the vampire diaries, peace and quite, and my comfy bed. they have screaming girls, nasty jacob, and sweaty, popcorn smelly seats. im grateful for tonight, and no matter how much im going to regret it, im staying up as late as i want tonight.. :)

vampire diaries

2011-11-15T19:34:00.000-08:00

so, im really kind of totally 100% completely obsessed with vampire diaries. i always denied it. i always said it was probably some stupid knock off of twilight. i was wrong. i admit it. i love it, and theres only like a million hot guys on it....... <3. except for one thing. i hate how elena and stefen say they are going to break up, and then theyre talking like two seconds later. she says she cant handle his crazy life, yet she goes and stalks him at some party, and calls him, and goes to his house. then she takes him back a million times, and then dumps him. and he does the same thing, except he says "its too dangerous"... and then he leaves her, but two hours later their back together. its quite annoying. (p.s., im only on season one.) anyways, im addicted.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

i want my money back

2011-11-13T20:36:00.000-08:00

well hey. things are pretty bummer right now because, of course, i am sick. whats new? one day after my ear infection supposedly "went away", i got strep throat. awesome. and my infection came back yesterday. so, im taking a lot of medication. and to top off all of this misery, all my friends have dates to winter formal, and i dont. mainly because i am not going. so, i will be home alone being a 15 year old loser. and i will have to do this the rest of this year, and for homecoming next year. bite me.
anyways, the weekend was good. crazy- but good. thursday i pretty much did nothing. actually i cant remember what i did, but it was probably with kelsey. friday was good. i went to get my hair fixed, then hung out with taylor, tennille, haley, and kelsey (B.). then me and kelsey (R.) had a sleepover, and did stuff that we always do. like... paint cars, and eat food. saturday, my cousin got baptized, my other cousin had a birthday party, and my brothers had baseball all day. long day. and today, i did nothing. i didnt even go to church, but i have two legitimate excuses. 1) i am sick... and 2) i didnt want to.
tomorrow doesnt have much in store besides school. my mom also starts school at her new fancy college, so shes pretty excited, and im excited for her. i get to hang out with my paps on tuesday, and wednesday i finally start tennis. im looking forward to the week :)

andrews first birthday :)

see? food.

cutest cousins ever. and brother. peyton (left) got baptized :)

thanks

2011-11-12T19:37:00.001-08:00

so, me and kelsey are really really cool. i cant tell you what we just did because then the people we did it to could possibly find out, but lets just say, it was awesome. highlight of our lives. seriously. i cant get over it. we are both on cloud nine.
and on that note..................

i have over 17,000 views.
i love you.

john lennon

2011-11-12T11:30:00.001-08:00

laboratory of math

2011-11-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

i love math lab with chamberlin and heiken. <3

just enjoy the show

2011-11-07T20:26:00.001-08:00

my little brother is a monster

2011-11-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

i just thought id take a minute to let everyone know that this little boy is the absolute cutest. he can be ultra embarrassing in public, and trust me, you have not felt embarrassment until youve spent a day with him in a public are. but, hes like my best friend, and i love him a lot. and he just turned 13. my little monster is 13!! oh, and in the video, he was trying to be embarrassing, obviously. he was doing it inside a public restaurant, and outside that restaurants parking lot. ill have to record him more so you all can get a taste of what im talking about.

i am not fly, i am levitation

2011-11-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

well, im pretty much super bored. talk about a lame saturday, for the most part. well, as i sit here doing my homework outside, i freeze my butt off. seriously, it is so cold. my hands are numb, and i keep spelling everything wrong, so its getting really frustrating to have to keep erasing everything. but anyways, like i said, my day has been pretty boring. but, my friday was pretty good. i went and saw paranormal activity 3 with kelsey and my mom, and it was amazing and freaking scary. BUT, other than that, i went to youth conference with kelsey, and, to my surprise, im really glad i went. the speakers were awesome. brother mcclure is just the cutest thing ever. and elder (do i still call him that??) brewer was hilarious. but, anyways, i took some photos of my weekend so, here they are. they arent anything too exciting.

ever since time to blossom, ive adored brooke white. i follow her on facebook, and she posted this and i just thought it was superb. :)

im not sure who used this scripture in youth conference (mosiah 4: 27), but i absolutely LOVE it. and it will be my next devotional.

i went on cleverbot. if you dont know what it is, then go to the website. it'll explain. and if you, you should still go on it. this was our conversation. im the black, and its the blue. (i dont have the app. so i just had to actually take a picture, hence the horrible quality.) and i seriously was singing, thats why i found it so creepy and had to take the picture.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

silly woman

2011-11-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

i want a boy to sing this to me.

2011-11-04T15:31:00.001-07:00

2011-11-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

dear heavens, bieber.

i am not a girl that can ever be defined

2011-11-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

its days like today that i wish i were in california. granted, i was this morning but, i wish i still was. my brothers, dad, and jenny are still there, and it makes me sad knowing i have to wake up early and go to school while they go to disney land. today has been an extremely crappy day. and not to mention my medication is kicking in, and ive been crying all day for no reason. seriously, thats one of the side effects.
but anyways, california was fun while it lasted. being lazy, going to the beach, knotts, eating the best food i have ever eaten, shopping. what more can i ask for? and i got to spend it with the best dad, younger brothers, girlfriend of dad. :) but, it was nice to come home and see my mom. i sure did miss that woman.
i certainly did not miss school though. i am literally dreading it. i could cry for reals. i cant wait until the second semester. onlineschoolhereicome. socially awkward i may be, but if im happy, i dont really see why it should matter.
anyways, me and my mom are starting this diet thing soon. my eating/excercizing was going great until recently. ive done so horrible, im literally at an all time low. so, im changing absolutely everything. new routine, new way of thinking, new eating habits, new self esteem, new confidence. everything. i might even cut my (already short) hair even shorter, and color whatever the heck i want. im doing this for ME. not for anybody else. im going to seriously get myself together. im going to save up a lot of money, and then just blow it on whatever i want. which is kind of irrelevant to my point, but basically what im trying to say is, im sick and tired of being sick and tired. and sad. there is no fun in being sad. being happy is my new goal, and im going to do everything and anything it takes to get there. now, i know i say this often, but i honestly feel like i mean it this time. this time is DIFFERENT.
anyways, school is in the morning, and i absolutely cant sleep in late, so, off to bed i go.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

If you want to be happy, be. -Leo Tolstoy

a sea full of sharks, and they all smell blood

2011-10-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

well, i know most of you saw my pictures on facebook, but i just figured i'd put them on here anyways.

i honestly dont think there is a place more beautiful in the world than cali. the beach is perfect, the location is killer, the weather is amazing, and the boys are as well. i love seeing everyone on their beach cruisers. i love beach cruisers. im so moving here when i turn 18.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

i cant stop staring at your face

2011-10-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

mistletoe is the best song ever. good heavens, i love him.

shoot an apple off my head

2011-10-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

so, if you ever decided you wanted to look at my photo booth on my laptop well, you would be insanely shocked that every picture is me/ me and kelsey. and just because i know youre curious, ill give you a little sneek peek at it. leggo?

im not sure what we were high on that night

christmas, 2010. <3

my INSANE justin bieber days.

you know, just chillin on an airplane with the coolest person ever.

haha oh, so this picture has an embarreassing/ funny story. well, me and jace were taking pictures, and i was trying to reach the charging chord, and was too lazy to get up. so, i figured it'd be a good idea to just reach as far as i can and hope for the best. well, jace, being the amazing brother he is, decided to push the camera button, and then push me. and this picture was born. it was too great of a memory not to delete.

this defines our relationship...

bullet proof

2011-10-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

oh hey. so, its been a while since ive blogged. im such a slacker. i guess im just getting too cool for blogging..... not. things have been pretty decent here. we're back in school (hoo-rah.), which sucks. im thinking about doing online school next semester. we'll see. things like working out have been a big fat bust. i didnt go one time last week. and i have gained every pound back. (shakes head.) honestly, what is wrong with me? i worked so hard, and just like that all that hard work was gone. i have a serious addiction to food, and thats honestly not a joke. everyone says that, i know. but i honestly believe mine is one that needs some attention. please, please help me? i honestly feel so stuck. idontknowwhattodoanymore.
anyways, on a bright note, i am going to cali. this weekend. whoooooooooo! newport is my baby. and i miss my baby. but im coming home! and, i get to miss a whole frakin week of school. boo-yaahhhh. i cant wait :) and also, the wednesday i get back from newport, im starting tennis. wish me luck

oh, hunter....

2011-10-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

music to my ears

2011-10-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

archie is such a little babe. him plus my favorite song on the piano is heaven on earth

and im singing this song for you

2011-10-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

t-minus 30 minutes, and i will be 15. i know no one else really cares, but i do. i dont think anybody realizes how extatic i am to finally just be 15. not that being 14 is lame, but im tired of having people always say "youre only 14!? youre so young!" and i know soon enough people wont believe that im only 15, but for now, im safe. i have a feeling 15 is going to be a dang good year.
today was seriously an awesome day. i know its probably very wrong for me to say this, but sometimes, divorce has its bright moments. i get two birthdays. today was with my mom, and i had so much fun. we just went shopping, out to lunch, then went and got cupcakes. then we went out to eat with my grandma, aunt kara, brother and kelsey. the crowd was supposed to be much larger but, unfortunately, many werent able to go. but i had so much fun. then we came back and just watched a scary movie with everyone.
i love my family. honestly. they are the greatest.
happy birthday to me :)

hurry scurry

2011-10-13T21:23:00.000-07:00

3 (almost 2) days until im no longer a smelly 14 year old.
i have a feeling 15 is going to be a good year :)

ahhhhh

2011-10-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

gosh. sometimes i just dont understand people. let me tell you why.
so theres this person in my life, and they have been a part of my life for practically forever. things have been hard for this person lately. all i ever do is try and make things better for them. i am NOTHING but nice to them. i try and make jokes to lighten the mood, and they come back with smart alec comments and sass. i do everything i can to comfort them, and all they do is embarresse me, harass me, make me feel stupid.
gosh, i am SO done. seriously, i am never talking to you again. im so tired of it.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

thats something to be proud of

2011-10-09T15:18:00.000-07:00

i feel like today is a good day to blog. sundays always are. i love sundays, especially when i have church at 8 in the morning. and, im actually starting to like my new ward at my dads. they are all really cool. the young women are (for the most part) really nice and normal. and we have some dang cute young men. :)

anyways, i figured id just blog for the heck of it, and tell you all how good im doing :)
since ive started working out, ive lost 5 pounds, give or take a little. it kind of varies on the day, but its usually around 5 pounds. this week alone i ran over 8 miles. do you know how amazing that is? sure, i may not be stick skinny, but im getting myself back in shape! ive realized that when my parents divorced, i, like so many people, went to food for comfort. i just got into some bad habits, and i never really cared. however, being an (almost) 15 year old, i kind of care now. and, even if im not the prettiest, skinnest girl in the world, if im doing my best to keep myself in shape and happy, who cares? some day, ill get married and find the most wonderful man in the whole entire world! and if hes a good guy, he'll love me for me. i can not wait for that! it makes me smile just thinking about it. the thought of that keeps me going. i want to be the best person i can be for my husband. healthy, so i can have kids. attractive, obviously. and just an all around good person. how can someone who is a good person not be attractive? maybe not physically, but to some boy, she'll be the most beautiful person in the world, and thats what i just keep telling myself.

well, i hope everyone i having a good break. i seriously never want it to end. stay happy!!

until next time,
shelby lesueur

just enjoy the show

2011-10-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

ive been slacking with my 30 day drawing challenge, but never fear! i will catch up by tomorrow. for now, i will show you the drawings i do have.

self portrait

favorite animal

favorite food

favorite place

until next time,
shelby lesueur

dont be a jerk

2011-10-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

so, i have definitely realized something major these past few days. i do not hate anybody, but i hate the way people treat others. i know im always talking about how much i hate bullying, and people who are mean. and honestly, i just do not understand why everyone cant get along. why the judgment? the hate? it is not going to change a single thing. if you think someone is wrong for being who they are, keep your mouth shut. no one wants to hear it. no body like a negative, unhappy person. i dont care if youre the most handsome, or prettiest person ever. if you are always bringing people down, you will never be attractive to anyone.
this past week i got my ear pierced, making it my third piercing, and i honestly could not believe the judgment i got from people. i know what the prophets have said. but i am my own person, and i make my own decisions. telling me that im wrong, and bad, and am making dumb decisons hurts, believe it or not. it doesnt feel good when people say stuff to you like that.
it kind of made me realize the person i dont want to be. judgemental. if youre a boy, and you love boys, then go ahead. maybe thats not my standards, and thats not the way i live, but if thats you, then so be it. im not going to tell you what youre doing is wrong. i just want you to be happy. i just want the best for you. and if other people judge you, then thats there problem.
basically what im trying to say is, dont be a jerk. be nice to everyone. love everyone, accept everyone. you dont have to be everyones friend, but just be nice, for crying out loud. is that so hard?

until next time,
shelby lesueur

i will try to fix you

2011-10-06T21:19:00.000-07:00

gosh, i love coldplay.

i'm learning this song on the guitar!! so excited.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

im just a little girl lost in the moment

2011-10-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

so, im kind of a slacker when it comes to blogging, i have realized. i literally have had absolutely no time to do it. that, and i dont have any idea what to even blog about! writers block, possibly? cliche is definitely something that i am. ANYWAYS, i will blog about my break so far, because its been awesome. the weekend we started, me and my family went to a hotel for conference. i saw dream house with my aunts, and it was really good. as for conference, we just got to watch it on our room with no distractions. heaven. monday i got my nails done with my mamacita, and then went to michaels. im, what i like to call, a nerd. and i do crafts instead of hanging out with people. kelsey came over though, and we went ding dong ditching (shh...), and we got a killer workout from it. seriously. tuesday i went to the gym (and ran 3.5 miles. oh yes.), and then went to kelseys and hung out with hannah and yeah. im pretty sure thats all i did tuesday. wednesday i saw moneyball with my mom and brother and it was SO freaking awesome. seriously, i love baseball. its the best thing ever, and i would marry it if i could. and brad pitt. oh, and i also got my cartilage pierced...hah.. im rebelious. then i went to the football game and watched higley get there butts handed to them by our hottie jv players. then we went to kelseys and did what normal teenage girls do. and now, here i am, blogging. today has nothing exciting in store, unfortunately. im probably just going to go to the gym and then do nothing. sounds good to me.
(10 days until my birthday.)

until next time,
shelby lesueur

calling me home

2011-10-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

love love love love ellie. and this song especially

safe

2011-10-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

i love westlife SO much, and this song is seriously amazing.

even the white kid

2011-10-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

happy october third. today is a good day :)

ok, so i just wanted to give a quick update, since no one is being a help in asking me how my whole workout thing is going. so, ill tell you.
it's going really good. i worked out 4/7 days last week, and ran a total of over 7 miles which i think is a lot. ive been eating so good, its ridiculous. im seriously really proud of myself. i cant wait until i can actually see some results!

sleepover

2011-10-02T21:16:00.001-07:00

day 2 of fall break:
conference
family time
sleepover with this babe

freeee :)

2011-10-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

dear october/fall,
do you realize how excited i am that you are here? the first day of fall made me so happy. the first day of october made me get that butterflies in my stomache because im so excited feeling. seriously, this is my favorite month of the year, and i have to wait 11 months for you to come. do not fail me!
i am excited for......
haunted houses
hay rides
mazes
staying up late
trick or treating
halloween movies on disney channel
FALL BREAK
schnepf farms
pumpkin patches
cold weather
scary movies and all the movie marathons
my birthday :)
decorating
honestly i can not wait to get this fall break started. whooooo!!!

turn the beat up-up-up

2011-09-26T19:37:00.001-07:00

want a kick butt workout? here you go. oh my ouch.

like a circus

2011-09-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

so, maybe youve noticed, i have a few pictures of the coolest/hottest/funniest/craziest/weirdest/best/most amazing girl ever.. me. haha just kidding, its actually summer. and why might i have these pictures? because were best friends and i love her. and its also her birthday :)
dear summer,
i know ive said happy birthday a trillion times, but i cant say it enough! i seriously miss you so much. every single day im just like, "wow i miss summer.". seriously, we have been friends since what seems like forever, and i dont think i have had a better friend than you! what DIDNT we do together? i mean, we went to florida together. thats the ultimate status of best-friendship.
remember when we had our little piczo website? hahaha oh gosh. and the trillions of sleepovers we had in your trailer. and that one time we gave each other make overs with cassady, which you can clearly see in our pictures above. and our twilight party! definitely cant forget that.
oh gosh. i miss you like crazy. i cant wait until we hang out. i love you, cute girl!

until next time,
shelby lesueur

projects i WILL be doing

2011-09-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

this could be a long post

thanks to pinterest, i now have some crazy idea that im going to be making crafts 24/7... which i probably will. and someday when i get my own house, i WILL have a craft room, and it will be full of cute stuff.... like this

i looooove these.

someone make me this right now. (frozen hot chocolate.)

oh how i love crafts.

2011-09-24T22:39:00.001-07:00

benny the jet

2011-09-24T21:46:00.001-07:00

my first love.... <3 <3 mike vitar

it'll all get better in time

2011-09-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

ahhhhh....... its been a while.

dear stuck up, bratty, know it all-
wanna know something? youre fake, and everyone knows it. im so done with you, and im so done trying. get over yourself. you might be pretty, but thats all youll ever be. im tired of trying to fit you in my life, when you arent doing ANYTHING to try and help.so, im done. goodbye.

dear boy who i wish i didnt know,
why do you have to be so freaking cute. you make life so hard.

dear grumpy goat,
i understand life sucks. but please stop bringing everyone else around you down. i love you, but it has got to stop. i just want to see you be happy for once. i want you to enjoy life while you can. youre young, but you wont be for much longer. i know youre family is rocky. i know you feel so out of place, but dont be so negative. i really need you right now. youre scaring me. pleeeease.

IM DONE.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

freaky-freaky- four minutes

2011-09-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

this week has kind of been a crazy week. mainly because i think im finally realizing the kind of person i want to be. im tired of being loud and obnoxious, and trying to fit in. i dont care if people think my angry birds shirt is ugly. ill wear it if i freaking want to!
ive also realized that even though im insecure, its ok. because im going to change. im 14. that is so young. i am not beautiful. no body at 14 is. im going to change. i am going to look different in time, so worrying about how i look right now is so pointless. and honestly, how petty of me is it to be so worried about my looks, when i could be wasting all that energy on just doing things to better myself, or other people. looks are not everything. people make it seem like it is, but its not. just because you arent as "sexy" as someone like meagan fox, or "beautiful" as emma watson, doesnt mean you arent. every single person is different, and every single guy likes a different type of girl. you dont have to fit societies stereotypical girl, because no one looks like that anyways.
and on another note.. my book is coming along pretty good. oh, and im thinking about trying out for soccer. i need something to do.
i wish i could drive. i think i would actually get out and do more stuff, but i hate asking people for rides everywhere, so i dont go do anything. waaaaa.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

drew barrymore

2011-09-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

i seriously love her, and she will always be my favorite

and im a mormon

2011-09-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

im not exactly what the whole deal with this "im a mormon" thing is, but kelsey posted about it, and it was really cute. id hear alot about it so, im just going to go ahead and copy her idea, and tell you about my friends, and the best mormons i know. :)

kelsey browning: the most amazing girl you will ever meet. funny, sweet, a dang good dancer, and the best person to talk to. i dont know how her parents did it, but they raised a killer daughter. wanna know how me and kelsey are best friends? its been three years, and we havent gotten in a single fight. impressive? GOSH, how can you not say something nice about her? shes adorable, for one. however, she has a problem with shoving food in my face, and sometimes i want to kill her, because its really hard to clean flour/cupcake/frosting/soda/everythingelse off my glasses. but anyways, shes boy crazy. which, is a good thing! because shes always got the advice, and she knows how to make me not feel like the biggest geek when it comes to being a socially awkward, boy-avoiding, dweeb. kelsey browning is PERFECT, and she is a dang good mormon.

victoria brewer: my sister. my idol. no pressure, but i want to be exactly like her. she has a voice like an ANGEL, and the spirit of one too :). despite sunday runs to qiznos (which were too long ago), she couldn't be any better of a person. she can make anyone smile, laugh, and pee their pants. her family and friends are blessed to be able to see her every day, and be around her. victoria brewer is so Christ-like, and she is the perfect mormon.

jackson lesueur: believe it or not, this kid has it. he has more spirit than anyone ive ever known. his testimony is earth shattering, and i cant help but cry every time he gives a talk, devotional, or even a prayer. but, besides the point, hes a great brother. i'd never tell him that because, ew, hes my brother, but, i love him. we have a moments, a lot infact. but, he has made me a better person. he is the perfect example, and i hope he knows that. jackson lesueur is amazing, the perfect brother and friend, and he is a mormon.

madeline higginson: ive told her time and time again, but she is my inspiration. she makes me want to be a better person every single time im around her. she knows how say a prayer. she is absolutely one of the most Christ like people anyone will ever meet in their entire life. she is going places! there is no doubt in my mind. i hope she knows how absolutely thankful i am for her example, support, and love. without her, i can honestly say i would be lost. madeline higginson is a saint, and the most amazing mormon ever.

my grandma sandy: again, so christ like. i hope someday i can be half the woman she is! there is no doubt it my mind my grandma will be in the highest degree of glory possible. shes a giver, a servant of the Lord. shes compassionate, caring, loving, and puts others before herself always. i hope she knows that she is absolutely the best woman ever. grandpa is so lucky to have you. i am so lucky to have you, and to be related to you. you make me so much happier when im around you! i love that you work at the temple. that is such an amazing thing! you are such an amazing person. sandy lesueur is giving, caring, loving, compassionate, and the best woman anyone will have the pleasure of meeting, and she is a mormon.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

this week i....

2011-09-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

went to the homecoming varsity football game

had a sleepover with this weirdo

got a debit card :)

and had the most amazing saturday ever! by... going to the david archuleta concert. 1: he is absolutely amazing live. words can not describe his talent. 2: he is adorable. we also went to the dance for like, 5 minutes, went to walmart, got some food, threw some eggs at people, and wore freaky masks and screamed at people. good night? you could say that. i love my friends

until next time,
shelby lesueur

high school stuff. (they wouldnt understand)

2011-09-15T17:19:00.000-07:00

to all of those going to homecoming- good luck! and have fun. i hear the juniours worked really hard on it, so dont screw it up!

to kelsey- this weekend is going to rock. minus the fact that youre going to homecoming. (which, i hope you have fun, but i will be at home.... alone...... with no one..... nbd.) SLEEPOVER(S?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-09-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

hi, my name is shelby

im 14 years old
i was born and raised in arizona (unfortunately, still being raised)
i go to queen creek high school
i have minimal friends, and thats the way i like it
i like graphic t shirts
i hate the way i look
i hate my cheeks
my teeth are yellow, thank you to my soda addiction
im so tired of looking at pretty people all the time, i just wish everyone was ugly
boys suck
my brothers are my life, and i love them so freaking much
boys scare me to DEATH
i may only be 14, but i think im mature for my age
i may only be 14, but i know that age wont do be any good, and im going to look this way for ever
i know (most) every girl my age has self esteem issues, and i hate that our society is so screwed up
facebook sucks, and i blame it for a lot of my issues
i love my church so much
music is great
im starting soccer AND tennis soon :) :) :)
i cant wait to turn 18 and move out of this state
happiness is when im reading, stress free, with nothing to do
im turning 15 soon :) and i will let you know that a LOT
i can be a big fat jerk when i want to be
im still contemplating moving schools
im a dork/nerd/weirdo/freak/crazy/anything else that means abnormal
i love blogging

until next time,
shelby lesueur

when the world stopped turning

2011-09-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

i was really young when 9/11 happened. i have very little memory of that day, which im thankful, and sad about. all i really remember was being at my grandmas house, getting ready for the day, when i heard my mom and grandparents crying. the tv's were on all day for the next week.

i have a different look on 9/11. friday at school, was probably the most amazing day i have ever been a part of. i am so proud of my school. we had a ceremony before school, we fed breakfast to some of the troops, we did a day of service, and went to elementary schools to help the teachers, had a car wash, made cookies to send to the troops and so much more. i am so grateful i got to be apart of that (even if i didnt actually get the opportunity to do any of it :) ). we had a lot of speakers, and videos, and classes about 9/11. crying at school was definitely not what i had planned on but, whatever. in english, we read a story about someone who survived the twin towers. she was on one of the floors in the middle, when her and her co-workers heard the plane hit the other tower. they went over to the window, saw the smoke, but didnt realize that it was a plane. she said she'll never forget having to watch people jump out of the buildings, seeing if they had any hope of living. they werent allowed to leave the building, but, when the plane hit her building, she knew something was wrong, and she got out of the building as fast as she could. she said the scariest part was hearing the buildings collapse above her, and she just ran faster than she thought she could to get out. i dont think i could imagine anything worse.

anyways, i just wanted to take a little bit of time out of my day to say THANK YOU to the troops, and everyone fighting for our country. you are a blessing. i take for granted the fact that we live in a free country, but its not free for everyone. people sacrifice their lives every day for us, just so we can be free. so, again, thank you. i know i cant do much, but i've decided that im going to fast today. its the only way i know how to say thank you.

this is my FAVORITE song.

i hope everyone has a good day, and keeps the troops, those who died and served on 9/11, and those who are serving today, in their thoughts and prayers. God Bless America

until next time,

shelby lesueur

stereo hearts

2011-09-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

hey.
i have over 14,000 views.
guess what?
that makes me smile :)

like this, but better.
(i love matt damon.)

adele is hope

2011-09-08T16:09:00.001-07:00

my old friend

2011-09-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

sometimes i miss my old friends. sometimes i wish i still just had that one best friend that was always there. and yes, im talking specifically about a person. i miss riding golf carts, going TPing, staying up late, watching movies, going swimming, and doing everything together. i miss the way we were around each other.
i saw her at a football game, and we both passed each other like we were strangers. what even happened? was it something i did, or said? i would like to know, because i really miss things. i regret saying some of the things i said about her. i dont know why i said them. i was angry.
i guess what im trying to say is, i miss the old her. i know people grow up, and they change, but i still am able to miss the old her. im not saying she has to change, and im not saying the new her sucks, but, i miss the old her.... obviously. and, honestly, i hope she reads this. im not going to go into specifics, but, i just cant stand to really be around her anymore, and i wish i could! because we used to have to best time together. maybe its me that's changed though. maybe ive just got a new perspective on life, and i just stopped caring, and i pushed her away. hmm.
i guess we will never know!

happy labor day
until next time,
shelby lesueur

specs.

2011-09-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

so, i think the only accessory i would ever be caught dead wearing is my glasses, or as i like to call them, my specs. and, unfortunately, thats probably some of the most expensive kind of accessories you can find. however, im comfortable in them, and i just like have multiple pairs. i have two now, but i REALLY want more. so, i've picked some out that i want next and i need your opinion on which ones i should get first. i kind of have an idea of which ones i want, but ill leave that to myself, and let you guys pick. (keep in mind: i dont care what people think. the crazier, the better.)

peeta

2011-09-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

i think the hunger games should just come out, because i literally cant wait.

teem peeta!

2011-09-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

dear madge higginson,
happy freaking birthday, cute girl. honestly, i hate that month when you seem to be a year older than me. it makes me feel so lonely. but, anyways, i hope you have an awesome day, because you SO deserve it. seriously, have i ever told you what an amazing example you are to me? if i haven't then, thats insane, because you are. anytime a seminary teacher is giving us a lesson, and tells us to think of the most spiritual person, or the friendliest, or someone who i all around a good person, you are ALWAYS the first person that pops in my head. thanks for always being there for me, and just being an awesome friend. honestly, i dont think i couldve asked for a better friend than you. i love you madge!

yeah so this was your birthday last year. <3

i have swagger

2011-09-03T15:52:00.000-07:00

so today is pretty much the most boring day ive ever lived in my entire life. i slept over at kelseys last night, and i feel like i have some kind of sleepover hangover. im tired, and unmotivated to do anything (like shower).
school has been pretty decent lately. besides all the homework, tests, lecturing, and trying to keep up with my absences, its ok. luckily i dont have any classes that are lower than a C+ but, still. a C+ is lower than i want right now. im trying to keep my GPA up to a 2.9-3.0 at the least.
besides school, life is hectic. i finally have a room at my grandma/mom/aunts house. its crazy over here but, i really do love it. i miss seeing my dad every day, but i love our tuesday nights together. and im excited to be back in crismon ward. i've missed them.
recently on facebook, i announced that i was looking for a job. and while i still sort of am, ive also given up hope. lets face it. no one wants to hire a sophomore in high school, who's only 14, and has had no experience in any working department at all. i applied to safeway, because they do hire really young... but im not sure if i'll get it, or want it. school is hard enough, and i want a job working for someone i know. that way i'll also be able to KIND of control my hours. if you are hiring, or know anyone that is, i will be offended if you dont tell me about it.
other than school, work, and all that nasty grown up stuff.... im all around happy with life. ive been working really hard on eating healthy, and working out. im obviously not perfect at it, but i can see improvements, and i can't wait until im finally in a good place, physically. i want to do track next year, so im really training for it, hard. and, i should be starting tennis soon!
oh, and one more thing. im working really really hard on trying to grow my hair out. so, if you know ANY tricks at all that help the process move along a tiny bit quicker, i'd appreciate it. oh, and if you ever hear me say the word haircut, (because believe me... a few months down the road, i'll think its what i want, so i'll go get it cut, then regret it later...) slap me hard. do not let it happen. im counting on you.

until next time,
shelby lesueur

this reminds me of madge&HEARTs

2011-09-02T15:28:00.001-07:00